What Do You Want?

Ever since our kids were very small, my good husband and I would sit down with all of them before the holidays and ask them to tell us what they would like for Christmas. (I know some people would not agree with this practice, but it was always fun and sometimes very revealing for us.) Most times the kids had a hard time coming up with something they really wanted as they were usually very content. When they were really young, the requests sometimes ranged from the small and mundane to the next-to-impossible. When Ashley was about four, she asked for a Clydesdale horse and bubble gum... guess which one she got! At around the same age, John and Tim were either into cowboy paraphernalia or anything to do with sports, but inevitably every year, one gift they always got was a huge package of matchbox type cars. You know, the ones that come with about forty in the box for around $3.00? It was a thing my husband got them every single Christmas for years. I'd be laughing to myself when we went out Christmas shopping because if we ever went our separate ways in any toy department, sooner or later he'd round the bend with the ever appearing "matchbox menagerie."

“Look what I found, Liz!" he'd say in all sincerity and as if it were the first time we bought one. "Thirty-five cars for $2.79! What d'ya think? The boys like these, right?"

“Oh, sure—they love these," I'd reply while I inwardly cringed remembering one cold post-Christmas morning a few years ago when I stepped on a matchbox ice cream truck—barefoot. (I think I still have the words "Good Humor" imprinted on the arch of my foot.)

Because our kids grew up without the influence of television for the most part, they were not exposed to the annual barrage of Christmas toy commercials. Therefore, any TV announcer wasn’t telling them how much they wanted a particular toy or game. So although we might ask our kids what they wanted, most times they didn't come up with a lot. Comments such as, "I don't know," and "Whatever you get me, I'll like," or "I really don't need anything," were frequently rendered. I can remember one holiday season when our son, John, was questioned by a certain relative as to what he wanted for Christmas. He was about twelve or thirteen at the time and hemmed and hawed around until he finally said, "I don't know, ____. I'm really a pretty content boy." Needless to say, the relative involved found his comments quite remarkable, even bizarre, and began to question us as to what we ever "did" to John to make him behave so "abnormally."

Today it seems that kids are getting so much and that advertisers are beginning to make just as big a "gift-giving extravaganza" out of Easter and Halloween as they have of Christmas. I was in Macy's around Easter once and overheard this conversation between a mother and her married daughter:

Daughter: Ma, I still gotta get Nicole that "E-Z Bake oven" thing...

Mother: I thought you already got her the doll for Easter!

Daughter: Yeah... I know... but we got Richie the "Power Rangers Station" and two new "Power Rangers"... so I don't want her to feel bad.

Mother: C'mon! The kid's three-years-old! Do you think she'll know the difference?!

Daughter: Ma. She won't, but I will! Come on. I still gotta get her Easter coat and gloves... Oh yeah... she still needs a purse...

Mother: (pushing cart and rolling her eyes) And don't forget the candy for their baskets! (I couldn't help but wonder what "Christmas" was going to be like for Richie and Nicole if Easter was proving this lucrative already!)

As the holidays approach, most of us, as wives, mothers, daughters, friends, etc. probably have our minds on what we are going to do for others for Christmas and not what we ourselves want or will get. My kids probe me every year as to what I'd like and it drives them crazy when I tell them that I really don't want or need a thing and that I'm so blessed with them and their dad, my church, and dear friends. Life is already so full for me. Of course, they'll always say "Mommm! C'mon! You must want something!" And so, just as that question has been put to me, seemingly dozens of times, let me ask you, "What do you really want?" Now, I'm not talking about Christmas, but I'm speaking about your life. What do you want out of life? I feel compelled to write about this because it seems that I've talked to so many "Christian" women who are so "disenchanted" with the way their lives are going. For example, there are women with whom I've spoken who are totally convinced that their lives would be wonderful if only their husbands were saved. There are women who have saved husbands who are sure they could be completely happy if only their kids were saved. Then there are those whose husbands and kids are saved who whine that their lives would surely be pure bliss if only he made more money. Some women lament the fact that they never have any time to themselves, or that they don't have enough clothes or their own car. It's a sad commentary on the day-and-age we live in, but it seems as though many saved women today have become "professional whiners"—always looking at the things their lives are missing—when we should all be on our faces thanking God for all He has done for us. We as Christians are not supposed to base our happiness or satisfaction on what we do or do not have. The Bible exhorts us to be satisfied with Jesus Christ and to be thankful in and for all things.

I think that my husband would agree that there are some years, 2007 not withstanding, which prove to be stressful at times. Christians know that it seems at times the assaults from Satan never let up. And yet the Bible tells us that we are to be "strong in the Lord and in the power of his might," and to give thanks for all things.

How can we as Christian women be content under any circumstances or conditions? Is it possible to live above our "conditions" and get to the place in our Christian lives where we are not dominated and so greatly affected by the circumstances in our lives? If you are wondering whether or not that is possible, let’s do a little Bible study together. Look up the following verses and write down any part of the verse that tells us that we, as Christians, can have victory over sin, or write down any part that tells us that we are to live above the world. (Romans 6:1,2; Romans 6:11-14, and 22; Romans 12:1-2; Romans 12:21; I Corinthians 10:31; II Corinthians 5:17; Galatians 5:17; Ephesians 2: 1-10.)

Now that we've examined ourselves in the light of God's Word, let's probe even further. Answer these questions as honestly as you can and check all that apply:

1. Some of my highest goals in life are:

• Success in my career.
• To make a lot of money and retire.
• To be the best wife and mother I can be.
• To become someone who is sincerely interested in reaching people for Christ.
• To get to the place in my life where I truly become submissive.
• To get to the place in my life where I truly become selfless.
• To be a picture of Jesus Christ to those around me.

2. The older I grow, I find myself becoming:

• Disgruntled, disillusioned, and displeased with my life.
• Greedy! I feel as though people should be doing more for me! I also feel an increase in desire for things.
• Less and less satisfied and concerned with the things of this life, and more concerned about my relationship with Christ.
• A person who has a sense of deep, inner peace and closeness to the Lord.

3. My prayer life could be described as:

• Improving all the time.
• Stagnant—I rarely find the time.
• Frustrating—I can't seem to get up early and pray because I'm too tired. Forget about finding even ten minutes to myself during the day, and at night when I drop into bed, I barely utter an "amen" and I'm out.
• Healthy and vibrant! I pray regularly and I'm seeing God answer my prayers.

4. On any given day I am:

• Usually happy and cheerful as I go about my usual duties as wife and/or mother.
• Frustrated and cranky—there is never any time for me.
• Depressed because my life is not what I expected it to be.
• Complainsive and whiny.
• Sad, lonely, and bored.

5. I am greatly concerned over:

• The fact that my husband is unsaved and how that affects me.
• The fact that my children are unsaved and how that affects me.
• My relationship to Jesus Christ.
• My spiritual growth and how I am progressing.

6. You could describe me as being:

• Usually cheerful, content, Spirit-filled.
• Mopey, moody, dissatisfied with life in general.
• Consumed by my problems.
• Striving to be all the Lord wants me to be.
• Overwhelmed daily—I have a very difficult time living the Christian life.
• Apathetic—I really don't care much about anything anymore.
• Argumentative.
• Domineering.

Once you have listed the various Bible verses and once you have honestly discerned the areas with which you struggle in life (as you answered the questions accordingly), you should be able to turn to the Lord for help and strength. Sometimes, when we look deep into our hearts, we won't always like what we see. The truth is that it usually takes us a lot longer to see ourselves than it does for others to see the real us.

What do you want in this life? Do you want to walk around complaining and being disgruntled in front of your husband, children, friends, and loved ones? Do you want to be a picture of a weepy, whiny, grumbling Christian? In this season that’s made of memories, I'm sure that you will want to be thought of as sweet, kind, thoughtful, and appreciative. I'm sure you would want others to see you, not just as a light for Christ, but a beacon!

As a wife, mother, and pastor's wife, I know one of the greatest, most genuine gifts I can give to others this Christmas, would be for me to determine in my heart to love Jesus Christ above all things and be Spirit-filled. If I can keep my eyes off self and keep them on Christ and others, I know others will see Christ in me. And if others can see Christ in me, then just maybe the Lord can use someone like me to point them to a loving Saviour. Isn't that what Christmas is really all about, anyway?

Encouragingly yours,

Liz