From the Pastor's Wife

How Did I Get Here?

“If only”—those must be two of the saddest words in the whole wide world. If only I had not done that. If only I had waited. If only I didn’t say that. If only I had not reacted. If only. And sometimes “if only” applies to things we didn’t do: if only I would have started earlier, if only I would’ve listened to instructions, if only I would have disciplined myself to do it, if only I took the time. If only I listened. If only I cared. If only I helped. Someone has said, “We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is that discipline weighs ounces and regret weighs tons.”

Sometimes, we know immediately if we’ve done or said something wrong in one awful flash of regret. When I think of some of the well-known Bible characters we read of who may have some regrets, Moses always comes to mind. If only he would not have reacted in such rage the day he struck the rock. If only his main objective would’ve been for God’s glory, he would’ve tasted the milk and honey of the Promised Land instead of viewing it from afar. Poor Moses. I would imagine that dreadful day he heard he would not enter Canaan was a day he regretted for the rest of his life. If only he had obeyed. And yet, our God proves once again He is so gracious and loving, for when inspiring the writers of the New Testament, He led them to speak of Moses. In Luke, Christ tells the story of the rich man in hell who demands that Lazarus go back and speak to his brothers. Christ tells how Abraham reminds the man that they already have ample sources of pleadings to avoid that dreadful place in that they have Moses and the prophets. And beginning with Moses, Christ taught of Himself. In the gospel of John, Christ speaks to an unbelieving crowd and aligns Himself with-none other than Moses. “…had ye believed Moses,” Jesus confronts them, “ ye would have believed me…” In Hebrews, we read that Moses was faithful in all his house and in Revelation, we understand that the redeemed sing the song of Moses, the servant of God.

Now there are three things about regrets that we must understand.

1. Regrets hinder our progress
If the Lord God wanted us to live in the past, He would have instructed us to do so. But instead, quite the opposite is true. We are instructed in God’s Word to press toward the mark and run the race, looking unto Jesus—and not our past failures—be they large or small.

2. Regrets haunt us
A guilty conscience can make one physically ill. It can make you depressed or fearful. If you have done your best to try to make things right, let the Lord do the rest. He knows your heart. He knows your burden—leave it

3. Regrets can hurt others
Some people are so bound up in their past, with all their anguish, remorse and guilt, it makes it impossible to move forward in their relationships.

They brood, they mull it over and the years go by… They have sleepless nights. And then-perhaps worst of all, they pass all of this baggage onto their children. I say baggage because it is something you choose to carry, not something you must carry. Christ wants all of your burdens-why pass them onto your children by allowing them to be exposed to your brooding, melancholy behavior? Their little shoulders were not made to carry their parents’ anxieties and dilemmas. As a Christian you have more of a responsibility than you’ll ever know to leave your impediments with the Lord.

If the Lord, Who is the Great Judge can forgive us—can we not forgive ourselves? Ay, there’s the rub. If you are wallowing in your past failures, have you ever had a serious talk with yourself and asked, “What on earth am I doing here? This is unproductive and unspiritual.” God knows everything about you and chooses—not only to forgive you—but to continue to use you and change you into the image of His dear Son. How undeserving and unworthy we are of His goodness.

We all do things we regret and some of those things seem pretty unbearable when you think about them later. When our children were quite young they came up with the phrase, “skin crawlers” for all the things they did in the past that they came to be rather ashamed of in the present. To this day, though they are all adults, we might be sitting around the table talking and someone will say, “O.K., everybody, I have a real skin crawler for you…” and then they will go on to relay some silly or regrettable thing they did. Sometimes we laugh with them—others times—true to the expression-the story makes our skin crawl. The key to not living in the past world of regrets is to forgive and forget. There are some things in this life we cannot change. Maybe there are situations you have made a mess of. But, that does not mean that God cannot reach His Almighty hand in and change things so completely that nothing short of a miracle has been performed. Allow God to do a complete work in your life. It’s one thing you’ll never regret.